my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore
Blood flow to the clitoris and vagina decreases, and the clitoris shrinks. I am really starting to think that sex was not made for pleasure, but for reproduction and when the reproductive years end for a woman, so does her desire for sex diminishes or ends and men that still have a desire, suffer in silence or become broke from a divorce and visiting prostitutes. If youre living with a gut feeling that your wife avoids intimacy on purpose, it may be time to take matters into your hand to rejuvenate your relationship. I said I am a human male and I have basic needs. 69 years old and no sex together for over 20 years..I asked her if she ever gets horny anymore like when we were dating..she flatly stated no, and if thats a dealbreaker so be it. After 35 years, I want to be with my wife more than ever, not less. But his belly sticks out a lot and makes it extremely difficult to get in because of 3 things. Your situation is my situation ! At 73, my 69 year old wife fits the descriptions you have provided to a T. Just replace you, the wife, with me, the husband. I am 52, married for 25yrs and sex has dwindled down to once every year or two. Stan, Am I ugly? Do we risk our grown children finding out and not understanding? Please explain to me. I need love that bad to hang on to a partner that never wants sex? You treat her well, and she shows no interest in you. But whatever you do, never go to therapists. Why is a mans focus so connected to his ability to use a womans body to empty the contents of his balls? BUT I agree If I was an electronic game, or a bead of some kind I would get some attention.. We have had a very good sex life up until a few years ago, and she has had many good sexual adventures. I have a simple fix for all this. Remember its never too late to start. You need to know. My wife will listen to my concerns about sex, but will not take hormone supplementation because of the science which indicates it can cause cancer in rare cases. It may be helpful for her to speak with her doctor about her struggles with libido, if relevant, to see if an adjustment in her treatment plan may help. Shes particularly enthusiastic about helping softhearted women get re-energized around the dating experience and find joy in the process of connecting with others. I just dont understand. We could be spontaneous. You are not catering to her sexual needs, How To Survive A Sexless Marriage Without Cheating, build a successful relationship after cheating, communication exercises with your partner, 10 Things To Do When You Are Drifting Apart In Your Relationship. I didnt have children hoping and wishing things would change!!! It is so sad listening to mostly men talk about their wives not wanting sex. I get angry, then sad and depressed. But many times women holds back based on how they are treated. Emotional connection is the starter and it is counterproductive if her man is resentful or walking around with head down and needy. But in practice, no one is equal. While its true that marriage isnt for everyone, it certainly isnt worthless. struggles or clinical depression? Im 47 and this happened to me. Both men and women lose sex drives some times, but with proper nutrition and exercise etc it can be reclaimed. If I threw a fit, she would allow it but Buck is correct, who wants to have sex with someone who is repulsed by the act of sex. Sex should be mutually inclusive. I desire foreplay and intimacy, not just intercourse. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Join us online to gain access to exclusive benefits and opportunities only for Senior Planet Supporters! Masturbation in the case of a marriage where one party is no longer interested in having sex and actively resists any overtures along those lines would seem to be the logical course of action. I am a little older but want intimacy so bad. ( Keep cardio to a minimum and stay away from the weight machines) I kid you not. ITS HIS POUTING and defeatist attitude! I realize this rant may seem to be about my needs, but I think I deserve the right to a fulfilling life. My wife and I are celebrating 48 years together in January. To me, that is emotional abuse. But, do not sell yourself. That may be one reasons why so many husbands. My beliefs are that I cannot step outside my marriage and commitment and it cost me some very good relationships with other women. No doubt youre frustrated. She would reluctantly use lubrication when I complained and promised to find a solution. 7. No way! You were something new, mysterious, independently confident, self-respecting, self-motivated and unpredictable. Here is a video explaining mental illness that might help. Also from a masculine point view primordial guttural sex that is still controlled contributes to female orgasim. Thomas, I agree! I live in my garage, shop, apartment and happy as clam no yelling and name calling. love him & my family and weve been married for 34 years & 5 years before that. But it also means were in a status quo that just isnt satisfying. In fact, I dont even feel were friends at this point, as we rarely speak to one another (unless I initiate a conversation) and whenever I try and initiate any affection or even merely suggest sex, he bristles, becomes hostile and defensive and thats that. That has been HER normal. I hear you bro. She replied yes. By Joan Price I just cant keep going like this. We were easy pickings since that biological clock was ticking louder and she still hadnt landed Chad. Learning how to communicate and experience life myself . No one is talking about wives whose husbands are the one that doesnt want sex. Talk with your husband about sexual fantasies he has or things he may want to try in the bedroom. My sexual desire just stopped. She is a poor communicator and no matter how much I ask she gives me the silent treatment and thinks its OK. Many of us could not conceive of divorcing because we have spent a lifetime waiting around to be shown once again that we are desired by the one person we have shared our lives with and still very much love. And the source of so many sleepless nights is that person who promised to love and honor us until death dobus part and who still possess a mouth and fingers and the ability to do just that. But each night i rub her feet and tickle her thighs..she just lays there ..and I go out and sleep in a recliner. It takes two. I need to feel cherished, looked at and touched in a non-sexual way THEN when I feel loved and safe, I want to please my man. * PLATFORM OR CMS. our belief of *how* we should act and behave . It got to the point that he wanted sex badly and was about to lose his mind. Rich B, I am 64 and my wife has withheld sex with me for the the last 5 years. It wasnt until I got married at age 40 that I realized that my problem probably wasnt sexual boredom but something else. My wife stop having sex with me its been 8 months. She wants no part of it. She had here ovaries removed due to cancer risk, after sex was painful and pussy all dried up, tried lubes and no luck and still painful when my rock hard penis went in her sweet pussy. not someone to basically jerk off into. Here are some reasons you can try if your wife doesnt initiate intimacy with you and you want her to be intimate. That never goes away for most women or men. My career came to a halt after my illness, due to a stigma related to my heart problems and brain surgery. 1. A study published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women had more difficulty staying focused during intimacy and lower arousal levels when under stress. Hormonal therapy can give you cancer, stroke. I have joint custody with my ex. I suppose that his stomach, which is huge, the fact that he cant really get hard, and the fact that sex takes forever are some of the reasons why I no longer want to have sex. Some nice and some angry! Our marriage still isnt consummated, and this grieves me as I yearn to be loved in this way. It makes me sad, and we have talked it out and sadly there is just too much sadness and pain in our relationship for this situation to ever be resolved. I am 55, my husband is 59. I am now trying to get into health club manament and the barriers for that seem less difficult. So Im frustrated as hell, but I love her and wont cheat on her no matter what. I would walk a mile in this mans shoes before I offer advice. First, do not deny your needs any more than you would deny yourself your favorite food, movie, book or music. Or when it doesnt really get hard, does the throbbing stop also in men? Fun-loving, Honest and Straightforward. These promises went on for three years and sex dwindled to once a week, once a month then stopped altogether. There is a lot more going on there. * RECOMMENDED CONFIGURATION VARIABLES: EDIT AND UNCOMMENT this.page.identifier = PAGE_IDENTIFIER; My son is in an open marriage (I know this because he and his wife talk about it openly) and it opened my eyes to the reality that it is unrealistic to expect one person to be able to satisfy all of your sexual needs. Really, I may as well just be rooming with a friend at this point in the game. I actually considered early in my marriage that my husband might lean toward being gay and thats why he was somewhat uncomfortable having sex with me. If you have gone through months or years of being patient with your wife and still arent feeling physically connected, it may be time for marital counseling. Therefore, building and maintaining an emotional rapport is extremely essential not just for a robust sex life but also for the overall health of the relationship. Great but no sex at 69. If men put in as much energy they put in sneaking around spending money on hookers and put all of his energy on his wife by taking 50% of the household chores and helping his wife out with the kids and having him spice up their sex lives you will see more action in the bedroom then before as long as you are sweet and loving towards her you will always get lucky. Having a regular marriage check-in can help you keep an eye on your relationship and ensure you are satisfied with how much time you spend together in the bedroom. Most women are unforgiving and never say theyre sorry for the crap they pull, and stop providing or enjoying sex on that basis. While its good to get to the root of the problem so you can resume a healthy, happy relationship, checking in with yourself is also good. I have to listen to her telling me I am fat etc. Praying for these husbands. Those hormones can cause cancer. I would love to be greeted with a smile, a cuddle a thoughtful touch but nothing. When a woman has to live with her in-laws, its a major change from the way she had been living before. Its strictly psychological as I have no problems when alone or watching porn, which she is totally against. both my parents are senior. You need to find a woman who respects you and wants to be intimate with you on a consistent basis. She had a hysterectomy years ago do to cancer concerns, about 5 years ago she had a stroke like episode but there where no signs of actual stroke damage and she had started botox/steroid therapy in her spinal column for pain issues so there is suspicion that caused it, but because of a possible stroke they wont give estrogen. . I was not going to reward her or fall into another hug with nothing more than a few seconds of holding, and then a push off. Be a fuckin man. We havent had sex in over a year and a half because of my wifes lack of interest. Gopa explains how having a partner who has severe trust issues can also be the reason why theres no intimacy in marriage from the wife. Life is so wonderful! (Note to women reading this thread: though the accepted wisdom is women love big penises, Ive found in my experience that its certainly not universal. Even before this, she told me she does not want to nor have any desire for sex or intimacy with me or anyone. I realized after marriage that I married her for the wrong reason, more of a rebound to fill something torn from me so abruptly, the love for my previous family(wife and children). I sense for it to get all the way to her not wanting to be touched whatsoever at all anymore, something must have happened. I asked her how long will this take for you to get over this panic stuff. Hope now your problem will be solved. She told me that women need estrogen their whole lives, not just up to menopause. I just gave up. Jack- SHe aint lost brother. My hubby is one happy camper. At 45 years old I met this man She even went from sleeping naked in bed to full pajamas and on the rare occsion she would have sex to me, remove only her panties like a robot. However this does not mean that sex should just cease and its quite difficult for one party in a marriage or long term relationship to just do without something like this because the other party has lost interest (or is depressed), or whatever. He retired a decade ago against my wishes. Again, he has no interest in sex and doesnt even like me seeing him naked say getting out of the shower, or undressing, etc.. And, he remains curled up and turned away from me in bed at night. Many marriages are suffering in this area, and even the strongest and most supportive husbands feel isolated from their wives. Lowered estrogen can also cause her libido to lag. She would still complain of pain. Unfortunately I dont, as it seems were merely friends but certainly not lovers! I miss the sex, but I miss even more holding her in my arms snuggling with her just touching her maybe copping a feel she sexy. And please dont tell me counseling. Holy Cow, I have about had it. Indifferent withholders like my wife NEVER get better and their partners either leave or become bitter! I want to divorce my husband!!! Then if you still have to, decide. My ex is 70; I am 63. we have been married about 22 years. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! You should consider a strap on dildo, the size and width are your choice. My husband stopped 25 years ago when he couldnt get it up. I felt rejected at times, but I learned that what postpartum moms go through physically and emotionally is intense. Never did I roll over and fall asleep, and always tried to give her an orgasm until I had one. If the husband happens to be insensitive, it ruins the relationship. I have the same situation you describe, almost to a T. The only thing thats worse is that my husband is sneakily still interested in porn and satisfying himself when Im not around. I dont know what to do! Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. Does your wife feel seen and heard in the relationship, or is she never in the mood because she usually feels overlooked? Do they shrink with age? my dad is 85 years old and my mom is 5 years his senior at 90 years old. My father and grandfather were active sexually(we discussed) into their late 70s. Females are elevated to the superior status of the male they pair with the reverse is not true receive the protection and provisioning of that male, and enjoy the primary bond with the children. Talk to your wife about the lack of intimacy, 11 Lovely Ways To Date Your Spouse Spice Up YourMarriage, 200 Newlywed Game Questions For That Instant Bonding, 45 Questions To Ask Your Husband For A Heart-To-Heart Conversation, Why Is Marriage Important? I hear ya. Now, I just want to be wanted by her. For the months it was possible, I felt like a real man again, and much stronger at home and work. If the marriage has made you take your personal hygiene for granted, this lax attitude could be a total turn-off for her.